Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Deal Breakers in the Dating World

Today's topic for #LoveBlog is deal breakers. It looks like you're getting another look at how our relationship started in this post. I'm a firm believer that deal breakers are important but that you have to be flexible with them as well. Once you read today's story, you'll understand why.


It was sometime after college when I decided to try out the world of online dating. I have to say I was intrigued - it was like window shopping! I could decide what I wanted to look for and then I could browse to my heart's content - only making a connection if I felt it was worthwhile.

While I was immersed in the world of online dating, I set a list of "no's" for the guys I considered. Smokers were a definite no. I have breathing issues and have lost two grandparents to lung cancer. Needless to say, cigarettes are not my friend. Military was another deal-breaker for me. This one was a different kind of deal breaker though. I had nothing against military men - in fact, I had a huge love and respect for them. This deal-breaker came from growing up on an Air Force base (yep - I'm a military brat) and knowing what the lifestyle can be like. I didn't want that for my future. There were a few other things on my list, but these were two of the big ones.

I met a few interesting guys through online dating and even went on to date a few of them. It was after a not-so-good eight month relationship with one that I decided to take a break from dating. That was (oddly enough) when I met my husband.

We met in a historical pub in Charleston. (Historical pub sounds so much more romantic than bar, right?) I was out with friends for the night and the last thing I was worried about was men. I had decided to take a break after all. Well, it was pretty crowded and we had extra room at our table. It was only right that we say "yes" when a guy asked if he could sit with us for a while.

I spent most of the night talking to this guy. It wasn't long before I learned that he was a smoker and in the military. Needless to say, I basically ruled him out right there. However, the conversation was easy and pleasant so when he asked for my number, I went ahead and gave it to him.

(For the sake of time, I'm going to skip ahead. There's too many stories after that first night and I don't want to fill a book right now.)

Before you knew it, we were dating and eventually facing a long distance relationship. (Thank you military.) I never expected marriage to be at the end of everything - after all, he met two of my major deal-breakers!

Marriage was in fact at the end of everything though and I'm happy that it was.

How do I stand on those deal breakers? Well, he quit smoking while we were in the middle of our long distance relationship - as a surprise for me. And I've learned to embrace and love the military lifestyle. It's full of ups and downs but then again - isn't everything in life?

What about you? Do you have any deal breakers or stories of times when you were flexible and it worked in your favor?


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