Thursday, February 25, 2016

Why I Won't Give You Marriage Advice

Today's topic for #LoveBlog is advice. If you've been around the blog for a while, you'll know that I love giving advice for military spouses dealing with deployment. Marriage is a different story though. I don't believe in giving marital advice and I'm going to talk about why today.

Google defines advice as "guidance or recommendations concerning prudent future action, typically given by someone regarded as knowledgeable or authoritative."

Marriage is a commitment between two people. Those two people make the decision together to take their relationship to the next level of commitment. The only two people that are an expert on the relationship are the people involved in it. Therefore, no one else can truly give those two people advice on their relationship because no one else is the expert.

But wait...a week ago, I said woman talk is important. Doesn't this include talk of our marriages? Yes, I believe women should talk to each other about their relationships. They should share stories and maybe even ask for advice. However, they shouldn't give advice - especially unsolicited advice - to each other. Instead, they should focus on "What works for us..." This turns it into sharing instead of telling the other person what to do. 

I have a ring on my finger, but this doesn't make me an expert on marriage. I am an expert on my relationship though and I'm happy to share what works for us. I won't give you advice on what works for you though - you have to figure that out on your own. You can use my story as an example, but I don't want anyone using my stories as advice. 

What are your thoughts on marriage advice?  Who do you feel is authorized to give advice on marriage?

1 comment:

  1. This is totally my perspective on giving marriage advice. There's a huge difference between saying this is what works for us, period, and this is what works for us so it must work for all people ever.