Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Becoming a Military Spouse: 5 Questions to Ask

Getting married is a huge life commitment. Marrying a military man is an even bigger commitment. Love can take you far, but it can't help you overcome every obstacle. Marriage takes hard work and dedication. That's why I think it's important to have a heart to heart with yourself before you commit. Keep in mind that this heart to heart will likely happen before the actual engagement. I've given you five questions to consider before becoming a military spouse.

These questions are provided as thinking points. Keep in mind that every relationship and person is different. These are simply things to think about when making one of the biggest commitments of your life.

1. Are you willing to uproot and move?

Moving is a big reality for military families. Some move more than others but most move at least once during their service. It's important that you recognize this before you're married and loading up a uHaul to somewhere new.

2. Can you spend periods of time alone?

Even if your spouse never gets deployed, there are the possibilities of late nights and on call situations. There will be times of need when you're having to hold down things at home. Your spouse might not always be available to help you out.

3. Are you okay with putting your career aside?

Let me start by saying that you can have a career as a military spouse. You don't have to put your career aside but I do want you to recognize that it is a possibility that your career aspirations may change as you move around. Recognize that it's a possibility before you get married and you'll be better equipped to handle it if it happens later.

4. Are you flexible?

This one piggy backs off of the other questions. Can you adjust to last minute changes? Are you willing to flex and bend your life to work with your spouses' career? Flexibility is a great quality to have as a military spouse because it helps you handle the stress that can come with the lifestyle.

5. Do you love your future spouse?

Even though the military adds new obstacles to marriage, love should still be at the root of it. Love is the thing that will ultimately always remind you of why you tackle the obstacles that are thrown your way.

If you're a fellow spouse, do you have any questions you would add to this list? I'd love to hear them in the comments!

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